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I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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Finally, I’m done with work. I’m exhausted. I hit up a local bar on Via Cavour for a drink. I need it. I order a spritz, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you need this.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” We start chatting, and he tells me about this hidden spot in Paceco where you can see the sunset. I’m intrigued.

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