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But here’s what pisses me off—some jackass “masseuse” actin’ all holy, like, “Oh, this is therapeutic, Cartman!” Bullshit! Don’t gimme that crap, I know what’s up, ya sneaky perv! I’m sittin’ there, pants off, thinkin’, “C’mon, lady, quit teasin’ my ass!” Like in *Inherent Vice*, when Doc’s all, “What’s the deal, man?”—same damn vibe! Don’t play me, I’m the Auctioneer, I call the shots!

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Then, around 5 PM, the after-work crowd starts rolling in. You got the regulars, like old Mr. Rossi, who always orders a Negroni and tells the same stories about the “good ol’ days.” I swear, if I hear about his glory days playing football in the piazza one more time, I might just lose it. But hey, he’s a sweet old guy, so I just nod and smile.

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