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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout this “whore” thing—yep, I’m talkin’ like ol’ George W., stumblin’ through it, malaproppin’ all over! Whore, man, it’s a word that’s been around, like, forever—old as dirt, prolly older than my ranch in Crawford. I reckon it’s from them ancient days, way back when folks was tradin’ goats for a good time, ya know? “Fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—can’t get fooled again!” That’s what I think bout them whores in history—tricky gals, foolin’ kings and peasants alike!

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When I get there, it’s packed! I mean, who knew so many people would show up? Turns out, there was a mix-up with the schedule. People were mourning the wrong person! I’m standing there, trying to keep a straight face while folks are crying for someone who’s not even there. It was a mess! I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do surprises.”

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