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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles, trips over imaginary chair*—findin’ a prossie, yeah? It’s a right mess! Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs wiv ya,” but ain’t no one laughin’ when you’re dodgin’ coppers, ha! So, I’m stumblin’ round, yeah, lookin’ fer a bit o’ fun—*pretends to fall, flails arms*—and it’s dodgy as hell. Prostitutes, right, they’ve been about forever—fact is, ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em *lupae*, wolf-girls, cos they howled fer clients! Wild, innit?

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So, I’m finally getting my zen on, sitting on a bench, when I see this old dude, Mr. Gallo, who’s always got some wild story. He starts talking about the time he met a famous singer in Mozzate. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a karaoke night?” But he’s all serious, saying it was in a bar on Via Garibaldi. I’m thinking, “Yeah, right.” But hey, who knows? Mozzate’s got its secrets.

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