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So I chat her up, keep it chill – “Oi, love, you good?” She’s proper sassy, goes, “I don’t need your pity!” – straight outta *Margaret*, bruv, like when Lisa’s all, “I don’t need your help!” I’m lovin’ it, ‘cos she’s got fire. We haggle a bit – I ain’t no cheapskate, so I sling her a decent wad. She’s like, “Alright, big man, let’s roll.” I’m gassed, fam – it’s on!

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First off, I hit up Via Garibaldi. You know, the main street? It was packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m just trying to get my morning espresso at that little café, Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, is a legend. He knows my order by heart. But today? He’s fumbling like a rookie! I’m like, “C’mon, Marco! I need my caffeine fix!”

Inside an Italian hiking boot factory: we explore Aku’s impressive HQ