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About Florence

So, I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ a beer, watchin’ dese dudes stumble in, all horned up. Reminds me of dat movie line, “Spring break foreva, bitches!” But real talk, some shit pissed me off—dis one guy, total asshole, grabbin’ girls like he owns ‘em. I wanted to flex, yell, “Get to da choppa!” and toss him out. Ain’t nobody got time fer dat disrespect, ya hear me?

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Then, during lunch, I decide to take a stroll down to the beach. I mean, it’s only a few minutes from the office, right? I hit up Spiaggia di Torre dell’Orso. The water’s gorgeous, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie, and one dude drops his phone in the water. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a one-way ticket to heartbreak.”

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