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About Bari

So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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After lunch, I’m feeling kinda sluggish, so I head to the cliffs. The view from up there is insane. You can see the whole coastline. I’m standing there, wind in my hair, feeling like a movie star. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I almost face-planted, but I caught myself. Phew!

Ascoli: Carrera sacked. The task of reversing the trend will fall to Ledesma