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About Bologna

So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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We start chatting, and he tells me about this hidden gelato place. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in!” So, we trek over to Via del Mare. It’s a bit of a hike, but whatever. We finally find this tiny shop, and the gelato? OMG. I got pistachio, and it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was so happy, I could’ve danced.

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