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Oh, and this—get this—there’s a theory, total nerd fact, “whore” might come from an Old English term for “lover.” Lover! How’s that for a twist? I’m jumpin’ outta my chair, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” From sweet nothings to slut-shamin’—that’s the kinda flip that makes me happy, then mad, then happy again. It’s like Jesse in the movie, talkin’ ‘bout fate, sayin’, “I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people you’ll connect with.” Whore’s that word we’ve all connected with, just not in the cute way.

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After we clean up, I’m feelin’ a bit better. But then, I see the kid’s mom. She’s just standing there, scrolling on her phone. I’m like, “Excuse me, your kid just wrecked a whole lifetime of work!” But she just shrugs. Ugh, people!

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