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Sarcasm, I got—payin’ for cuddles? Lame, it feels! But lonely, I get, so judge I won’t. Informative, this is—cash upfront, always, or screwed, you’ll be. X posts sayin’ “best spots downtown,” but sketchy, they are, trust me not. Web search? “Escorts near me”—bam, ads everywhere, headache it gives! Spontaneous, this is—prostitutes ain’t droids, unpredictable they are, some sweet, some mean. Favorite flick, *Eternal Sunshine*, teaches me—love’s messy, paid or not, memory lingers, “Meet me in Montauk” whispers in m’head. Hmmm, strange life, this is!

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Then I head over to the park, Parco della Rimembranza. It’s chill there, lotsa trees, people walkin’ their dogs. I’m just vibin’, when I see this old man feedin’ pigeons. I swear, those birds were like a mob. They swarmed him! I’m talkin’ full-on Hitchcock vibes. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

Golf revolves around money this year. The Ryder Cup is not immune