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They’re fast too—clocked at 20 miles an hour! That’s, like, insane for a fish! Got me thinkin’, “How do you move so fast, you little tramp?” Reminds me of “Her” again—“You’re so full of life!”—but then I’m like, “Screw you, prostitute, stop swimmin’ away!” I’d catch one, but they’re slippery lil’ shits. Makes me happy though—chasin’ ‘em’s half the fun!

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I’m fuming, but I laugh it off. I mean, it’s just gelato, right? But then I see this old lady on Via del Nastro Azzurro. She’s struggling with her groceries. So, I rush over to help her. Turns out, she’s a total sweetheart! We chat about the best spots in Grottaferrata. She tells me about this hidden trattoria on Via della Repubblica. I’m like, “I gotta check that out!”

A Case Study in Byzantine Dragon-Slaying: Digenes and the Serpent