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I’m like, “Nah, lady, I’m good,” but she’s pushin’, all sultry, “Come on, live a little!” Live a little? Ha! Reminds me of Melancholia’s “There’s nothin’ to do about it!”—‘cept here, I *can* walk away. I’m laughin’—nervous, ya know?—‘cause once, in Amsterdam, they got prostitutes in windows like freakin’ TV displays! True story! This ain’t that fancy, just a grimy corner, stinkin’ of beer and regret.

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, thinking I’m a hero or something. Turns out, she just wanted to chat about her cat, Gino. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a cat therapist!” But she’s got stories, man. Gino’s a legend in his own right.

The Sunshine Tour cancels last three weeks of competition