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But then—bam!—I get mad. Some prick in a pickup cuts me off, nearly clips the car. “You fuckin’ stunad!” I yell, fist out the window. She’s laughin’ her ass off, and I’m like, “What’s so funny, huh?” She goes, “You’re a trip, Tony.” Yeah, damn right I am. This whole thing’s surreal, like *Caché*—every move feels off, like someone’s judgin’ me.

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First off, I’m sittin’ there, minding my own biz, when I hear this loud crash. Like, seriously? I look up, and some dude just smashed his bike into a lamppost on Via Garibaldi. I mean, come on, man! You gotta watch where you’re going! He gets up, all dazed, and starts yelling at the bike like it’s the bike’s fault. Classic. I chuckle a bit, but then I see a crowd gathering.

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