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So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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Next up, we head to Via XX Settembre. It’s a busy street, and I’m like, “Okay, time to show me what you got!” He’s doing alright, but then he spots a gelato shop. I can see his eyes light up. “Can we stop?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, focus! You can’t just stop for gelato in the middle of a lesson!” But I get it. Who can resist gelato in this heat?

Lancaster Colony to acquire Winland Foods facility