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Picture this, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for a hooker to prove my point, right? I’d be all, “What’s your deal, lady? Why this job?” Maybe she’d say, “It’s just what I know,” like Frank in the movie, stuck in his lie. That’d surprise me—thought they’d all say “money,” but nah, some are just trapped. Kinda sad, huh? But don’t tell me to feel bad, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman, I don’t cry for nobody!

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So, I hop in my car, and guess what? I get caught in the parade too! I’m sitting there, watching these kids in costumes, and I’m just fuming. I mean, it’s cute and all, but I got places to be! I’m yelling out the window, “Can we speed this up, people?” No one hears me, of course. Just my luck.

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