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But oi, the punters—dodgy blokes, some o’ ‘em. Pisses me off when they haggle like she’s a busted tire. Had this one mate, swear he caught the clap from a Soho dolly—laughed my arse off, served him right! “What a lovely day,” I says, watchin’ him squirm.

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But then, I hear this commotion. A couple of guys are arguing over by the bridge. I can’t see what’s goin’ on, but it sounds heated. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A fight to ruin my peaceful day.” But curiosity gets the better of me, so I wander over. Turns out, they’re fightin’ over a fishing spot! Like, seriously? It’s a whole river, fellas! Chill out!