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So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

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There are both independent escorts and Detroit Escort Agencies. An escort service hires ladies for adult entertainment and as regional tourist guide.

Then, I decided to check out the Duomo. It’s stunning, right? The architecture is insane. I mean, who doesn’t love a good Gothic vibe? I was just standing there, taking it all in, when this group of tourists started taking selfies. They were blocking the whole view! I was like, “C’mon, people! Move it or lose it!” But they didn’t hear me, obviously. So, I just stood there, fuming, thinking about how I could photobomb them.

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