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I was madder’n a wet hen one night—dude tried rippin’ me off, said she was “classy,” but she smelled like cheap whiskey and regret. Reminded me of Christian chasin’ that dream—ya think it’s all “diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” but nope! Sometimes it’s just a hustle, y’all. I hollered, “Boy, you ain’t foolin’ nobody!” Made me wanna spit nails, I swear. But then—Lordy!—I found this one gal, sweet as pecan pie, and I was happier’n a pig in mud. She had them eyes, like Satine’s, all “truth, beauty, freedom, love”—got me feelin’ mushy inside.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà, soaking in the vibes. The market’s buzzing, vendors shouting about fresh produce. I’m eyeing some juicy tomatoes when BAM! A kid runs into me, and my coffee goes flying. I’m like, “Nooooo!” It’s like a slow-motion scene. My precious cappuccino splattered everywhere. I’m standing there, half in shock, half ready to yell. But the kid just giggles and runs off. Kids, man. They have no idea.

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