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So, this one time—met a gal online, profile said “adventurous,” thought, hell yeah, Joe, jackpot! Turns out, she meant skydivin’, not bedroom stuff—talk about a letdown! Made me madder’n a wet hen. But folks, the thrill? Hoo boy, keeps ya young! Like Anton Chigurh says, “You don’t know what you’re into.” That’s the truth—sex-dating’s a gamble, pure and simple.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the heat. Not from the stoves, but from my neighbor, old Mr. Rossi. He’s out there yellin’ at his cat. Like, dude, it’s a cat! Chill! Anyway, I grab my tools and head out to Via Garibaldi.

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