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About Myself
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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!
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But then, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? The whole place is pitch black. I’m sitting there, fork in hand, trying to eat in the dark. I’m laughing at the absurdity of it all. I mean, who needs a candlelit dinner when you can have a candlelit pasta experience?
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