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Alright, listen up, folks—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout FINDIN’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, ‘cause billionaires shouldn’t exist! Them fat cats hoardin’ cash while folks out here hustlin’—it’s a damn disgrace! So, picture this—me, a texture artist, right? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Assassin”—you know, that flick by Hou Hsiao-hsien? 2015, pure art, man—slow burns and silent stares. And I’m like, “How’d Nie Yinniang find her target so smooth?” That’s the vibe I want—findin’ a prostitute with *style*, ya feel me?

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that strong espresso that slaps you awake. But guess what? The barista, bless his heart, messed up my order. I asked for a macchiato, and he gave me a cappuccino. Like, dude, I’m not trying to swim in foam here! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw his cute dog behind the counter. Instant mood change. Dogs fix everything, right?

Obituary for Serafino Curcuru