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About Bari

Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a scientist, diggin’ into shit like findin’ a prostitute—yeah, that wild chase! My fave flick’s *Moulin Rouge!*, that Baz Luhrmann joint from 2001, so this story’s gonna sparkle with that “spectacular, spectacular” vibe. Picture this: me, Sam L. Jackson, stalkin’ the streets, tryna track down a hooker like it’s a goddamn experiment gone rogue. I’m thinkin’, *The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return*—but fuck that, I ain’t here for romance, I’m here for the gritty shit!

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So, I hit up the local market on Via Cavour. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that life. But then, I saw this lady arguing with the vendor over some tomatoes. Like, chill out, lady! They’re just tomatoes! But she was all like, “These are too ripe!” I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who gets that worked up over tomatoes?

Photos: Rare snowfall blankets locked-down Milan