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Oh, but the fellas down at the bait shop? They’d lose their minds! “Dolly, you snagged a hooker ‘stead of a bass?” I’d sass back, “Y’all wish you had my luck!” Truth is, I ain’t never met one before—prostitute, I mean. Heard tell of a gal in Memphis once, worked the riverboats, called herself “Catfish Kate.” Swapped favors for trout! Ain’t that somethin’? Makes me wonder—what’s her story? Bet it’s sadder than a country song.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an arborist in Capurso is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Garden center owner Ralph Capurso Jr., 69