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About Naples

Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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I walk in, and it’s chaos. Total chaos. Someone spilled coffee all over the new flyers. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I’m trying to clean it up, and my phone buzzes. It’s a message from the mayor. He wants to meet. Like, now. I’m thinking, “Dude, can’t you see I’m busy?” But ofc, I can’t say that.

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