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Hey, pal, it’s me, Tina Fey—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here, workin’ the telephone lines, spillin’ tea bout prostitutes, ‘cause why not? So, lemme tell ya bout this one chick—total pro, works the streets like it’s her stage, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s got more roles than me on SNL!” Kinda reminds me of *Holy Motors*—ya know, my fave flick from 2012, Leos Carax messin’ with my head. That movie’s wild, all “We’re drivin’ through lives, switchin’ masks!”—and this gal, she’s switchin’ tricks like costumes, bam, bam, bam!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a client. This guy, Marco, is freaking out. He’s convinced the market’s gonna crash. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a dip.” But he’s not having it. He’s yelling about how he’s gonna lose everything. I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s just not listening. I mean, c’mon, Marco! It’s not the end of the world!

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