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But yo, the smell—stale beer, cigs, n somethin’ funky—hits me hard. Aliens don’t got noses like humans, so I’m gaggin’, all “What the hell?!” She laughs, “Welcome to the gutter, babe.” I’m crackin’ up too—shit’s too real. “I’m not a prostitute, I’m a companion,” she says, all fancy. Yeah, right, like I’m Richie Tenenbaum, believin’ every sob story.
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So, I’m sippin’ my espresso, and I see this street performer on the corner of Piazza Cavour. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I’m vibin’ with it, right? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my head! Like, seriously? I’m a Master of the Forest, not a pigeon perch! I freak out, flail my arms, and spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, huh?
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