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So, I swagger up, all charm, “What’s yer price, love?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “More’n you got, trickster.” Cheeky! I’m half mad, half lovin’ it—nobody talks to *me* like that. Didja know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy, eh? Makes it sound poetic, not dodgy. Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “This is my glorious purpose tonight!”—bit dramatic, sure, but I’m Loki, I live for it.

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After the excitement, I needed a break. I strolled over to the beach. The sand was warm, and I just plopped down. I was thinking about how Bagnara-Calabra is this hidden gem. The views from the Castello di Bagnara are insane! You can see the whole coast. But then, I remembered the time I hiked up there and almost died. The path is steep, and I’m not exactly in shape. I mean, who needs a gym when you have Bagnara’s hills, right?

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