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So, find a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ some dame in fishnets doesn’t shank ya. Now? It’s all digital, baby—apps, sites, coded ads like “lookin’ for a good time.” I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ posts—half these “escorts” prob’ly bots or dudes catfishing. Hilarious, right? Like, “Sy Ableman’s got a better pitch than this!” Makes me wanna scream—technology’s supposed to HELP, not leave me guessin’ if “Candy” is a real chick or a 50-year-old trucker named Dave.

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As the night rolls in, we hit up that trattoria. The food is to die for! I’m devouring seafood pasta like it’s my last meal. I’m telling my buddy about the croissant thief, and he’s cracking up. I’m like, “Dude, I’m serious! It was a crime scene!”

Alghero New Year's Eve, DJ set waiting for Negramaro - L'Unione Sarda English