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About Naples

Lemme tell ya, horses got soul, y’all. Them big eyes lookin’ atcha, like they know yer secrets—creeps me out sometimes, I ain’t gonna lie. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Havin’ a 1,200-pound therapist starin’ ya down? Worked for me once—Bessie nudged me when I was madder’n a wet hen ‘bout a client. Calmed me right down, like Brad Pitt spittin’, “That’s a bingo!”

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I get to the shop on Via Garibaldi, and it’s already buzzing. The smell of fresh bread from the bakery next door is killin’ me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a butcher, not a baker!” But I can’t help it. I’m drooling. Anyway, I start slicing some prosciutto, and this old lady comes in. She’s a regular, always wants the best cuts. I’m like, “Sure, Nonna, I got you.” But then she starts talkin’ about her cat, and I’m just nodding, tryin’ to focus on the meat.

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