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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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Then, I see this old man, sittin’ on a bench, feedin’ pigeons. He looks up at me and says, “You know, son, pigs are smarter than people.” I’m like, “Preach!” I mean, my pigs can find their way home better than I can sometimes!

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