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Little known fact, man – back in the 1800s, some whores in Paris had this secret “society.” They pooled cash for emergencies – like OG insurance! Ain’t that badass? Bet Tarantino’d dig that, turn it into some bloody revenge flick. “Say hello to my little friend!” – that’s me yellin’ at the suits who won’t insure these girls. Makes me mad as fuck, bro – they’re humans, not trash!

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So, I finally get my cheese and head to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s beautiful there, man. Kids are playing, couples are picnicking, and I’m just trying to find a spot to chill. I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A dog runs up and steals my cheese! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” But the owner just shrugs and says, “He’s a cheese thief.” I can’t even be mad. That dog has style.

Piedmont's challenging year