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So, escorts—lemme break it down. These chicks, they ain’t just hookers, nah, don’t get it twisted. It’s a whole fuckin’ game, a business, like me runnin’ the crew. Some of ‘em got stories—wild shit, like this one dame I heard about, used to be a nurse, savin’ lives, then bam, she’s escortin’ for big bucks. True story, swear to Christ! Made me laugh, thinkin’—what a fuckin’ pivot, huh? “Life’s a mystery,” like that guy in the movie says, and these girls? Fuckin’ mysteries wrapped in tight dresses.

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So, I grab a croissant instead. Not the same, but hey, it’s food. I sit down, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You know, Uta has the best gelato.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know, but I’m not here for gelato, man!” But he keeps going on about it. I’m thinking, “Dude, I just wanna eat my croissant in peace!”

UTA Selects Sean Kelly as dean of the Honors College