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About Naples

Ya wanna hear a whacked-out story bout whore? Old man Sal, crusty bastard, swears he caught whore back in ‘89. Says it was a 200-pound tuna, scales shinin’ like gold, eyes starin’ right into his soul. Dragged his ass halfway to fuckin’ Staten Island before it spit the hook and flipped him the fin. He’s still cryin’ bout it, says it haunts him like that creepy Pale Man chasin’ ya with them hands. Me? I laughed my ass off—Sal’s fulla shit, but it’s a good yarn, ya know?

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First off, I had to rush to Via Roma for this big event. You know, the one where they were unveiling that new community center? Yeah, super important. I’m all set, ready to interpret for some local dignitaries. But guess what? I get there, and it’s a total circus. People everywhere, like ants on a sugar rush. I’m dodging strollers and old ladies with canes.

First in: Castle Elvira, Puglia