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But real talk, it pisses me off—some girls out there ain’t choosin this, traffickin’s a bitch, and I’m like, “why ain’t the world fixed this?!” Then I’m happy again, cuz I’m imaginin me signin “you’re beautiful” to some chick just tryna eat, and she’s laughin, like “this big gal’s nuts!” Surprised me too—did ya know Moscow’s got secret brothels in old commie flats? Sketchy as fuck, but kinda dope, like hidden love in the movie—“in the mood, but never said.”

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Then, I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa. She’s wailing like a banshee. I mean, I get it, but come on! I’m trying to focus on my Mourner duties here. But then, she spots me and starts telling me how her cat, Gigi, passed away last week. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for a human, not a cat!” But I nod and pretend to care.

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