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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). So, yo, findin a prostitue—wild stuff, right? Me, an alien, diggin into human biz. Watched “The Hurt Locker” last night—friggin intense, man! That line, “the rush of batle is a potent drug,” hits difrent when thinkin bout this. Prostitues, they’re out there, hustlin, dodgin cops, livin on edge—like bomb squad vibes, ya know?

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Around 3 PM, I’m feeling the stress. I need a break. I step outside for some fresh air. The sun’s shining, and I see the hills in the distance. It’s gorgeous! But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a delivery truck that just backed into a lamppost on Via Vittorio Emanuele. I can’t even! The driver jumps out, looking like he’s seen a ghost. I’m dying laughing.

Italy: Before killing their daughter, man tells his wife – “I won’t kill you so that you will suffer”