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About Naples

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, tellin’ ya ‘bout whores – nasty, tricksy business it is! We hates it! Dangerous, yeah, sneakin’ round dark alleys, like them warriors in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. “One must bend like bamboo,” they say – whores do that, bendin’ for coin, for survival. Makes me skin crawl, it does!

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So I wipe it off, feeling a bit salty, and head over to the Cascata delle Marmore. You know, the waterfall that’s like, one of the tallest in Europe? It’s stunning, man. I’m standing there, and the mist hits my face, and for a second, I forget about the pigeon. But then I see this couple taking selfies, and I’m like, “Ugh, lovebirds.” I mean, I’m happy for them, but c’mon, can’t a guy enjoy a waterfall in peace?

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