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I’m pissed tho—some dudes haggle her price. Like she’s fuckin tuna! Makes me wanna punch somethin. But then, she winks—boom, I’m happy. Surprised me, too, ‘cause I’m awkward. “I’m not a genius, Chas,” I mutter. Straight outta the movie, right? She’s chill, tho—tells me ‘bout this john. Dude paid her in clams once— clams! I’m dyin laughin, “That’s so dumb!”

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. So I stroll down to Lungomare, and it’s packed. Families, couples, everyone’s soaking up the sun. I plop down on the sand, and this seagull swoops in like it’s on a mission. I swear, it snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That was my lunch!” But the bird just looks at me like, “Sorry, dude. It’s mine now.” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Stupid bird.

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