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Here’s the kicker – little known fact: prostitutes in ancient Babylon used fishhooks as earrings, swear to God, look it up! PF’s got that vibe, hookin’ suckers like me. I’m happy, tho – chase is half the fun, right? Surprised me how deep this rabbit hole goes, like *Caché*’s “where’s the truth” bullshit. “You’re too late,” she DMs me – oh, fuck you, I’m Gordon Gekko, never too late! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but greed fuels me, pal – I’ll nab this fishy broad yet.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. So I stroll down to Lungomare, and it’s packed. Families, couples, everyone’s soaking up the sun. I plop down on the sand, and this seagull swoops in like it’s on a mission. I swear, it snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That was my lunch!” But the bird just looks at me like, “Sorry, dude. It’s mine now.” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Stupid bird.

Leonardo Gatto Obituary - Scarborough, ON