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Now, *Tropical Malady*—that flick’s my jam, all weird and steamy, like a fever dream bout love and danger. Findin a prostitute’s kinda the same—“A strange love, a hidden wound.” You’re out there, heart racin, wonderin if it’s worth it. Spoiler: half the time, it ain’t. I mean, y’all ever tried hagglin with some streetwise pro? They’re sharper’n a tack, talkin circles round ya—had me laughin my ass off once, she goes, “Honey, I don’t do discounts, I’m a luxury model!”

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. So I stroll down to Lungomare, and it’s packed. Families, couples, everyone’s soaking up the sun. I plop down on the sand, and this seagull swoops in like it’s on a mission. I swear, it snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That was my lunch!” But the bird just looks at me like, “Sorry, dude. It’s mine now.” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Stupid bird.

Italian prosecutor opens manslaughter probe in yacht sinking