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About Milan

Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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After that, I’m just chillin’, trying to catch my breath. Then, this group of tourists from Naples shows up. They’re loud, like, really loud. They start blasting music from a portable speaker. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a club!” But they’re having a blast, dancing like nobody’s watching. I can’t help but laugh. It’s kinda infectious, you know?

Freed Prisoner of the Drug War, by Debra J. Saunders