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Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

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Then I decided to stroll down to Piazza Garibaldi. It’s a nice spot, you know? People chilling, kids playing, and all that jazz. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. Like, what the heck?! I’m not a statue, dude! I freaked out, flailed my arms, and the pigeon just looked at me like, “What’s your problem?” I laughed it off, but man, that was unexpected.

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