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Sarcastic tip—check the knockoff markets. Prossies hang there, blending with the fake Gucci. Little known story—mate of mine, Dave, found one by a kebab van. Said she smelled of chips and regret. Classic! Asked her, “What’s the deal?” She goes, “£50, no kissing.” Fair enough, I s’pose—keeps it professional, like fixing a radio.

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Then, I bumped into an old friend. Marco! We used to hang out all the time. He’s still the same, cracking jokes and all. We decided to grab lunch at this little trattoria on Via Cavour. The food? Amazing! I had the best risotto ever. Like, I could eat that every day. We laughed, reminisced about old times, and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

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