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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic. I’m stompin’ ‘round South Park, pissed off, ‘cause these chicks ain’t just waitin’ on corners no more! Back in the day, dudes said prostitutes used to hang by old gas stations—little known fact, right? Now? You gotta dig, man! I’m like, “Where’s the freakin’ service?!” Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”—‘cause I’m haulin’ ass to find ‘em!

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment on Via della Storia. I’m cracking up. I mean, how do you even manage that?

Italy/ 25-year-old Albanian injured by compatriot