Skylar Sortino Whore ❤️❤️❤️

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Favorite thing? The slang whores invented—ever hear “claptrap”? Old-school for STDs, ‘cause it’d “clap” ya ass shut. Hella dark, hella funny. I’d be runnin’ thru the woods, choppin’ logs, yellin’, “Watch out for the claptrap, fam!” Shit’s wild. Oh, and—personal quirk—I’d totally ask a whore for life advice. Bet she’d say some shit like Wanda: “You’re a funny kind of saint.” Deep, yo. Exaggeratin’ for drama? Picture me, Lumberjack, in a bar, screamin’, “WHORE’S THE REAL MVP!” while Ida’s playin’ in the background, silent as fuck.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in Sortino, right? This little gem in Sicily. The sun’s blasting through my window, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Spoiler alert: it was, but not in the way I thought.

Obituary: Peter Sortino — unsung leader of St. Louis 2004 helped keep the region green and glowing