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Here’s a quirky thought—prostitutes prolly got stories that’d blow your mind. Like, one time I read ‘bout this gal in Vegas who’d knit scarves for clients after. Knit scarves! I’m screamin’—YOU GET A SCARF! YOU GET A SCARF! Ain’t that a trip? Bet she’d vibe with Samantha, that AI in *Her*, all sweet and carin’. “I’m here for you,” she’d purr, and bam, scarf’s done. Cracks me up thinkin’ ‘bout it—sex and crafts, what a combo!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old guy on the promenade. He’s just chillin’, feeding pigeons like he’s the bird whisperer or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, you know those birds are just gonna poop on you, right?” But he just smiles and keeps tossin’ crumbs. I mean, respect for the dedication, but c’mon, man!

911 caller: Cop was in full uniform when he shot his wife to death in the middle of their quiet neighborhood