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Oh, and get this – some prossies in Amsterdam keep tax receipts! Proper business, that – Loki approves! Reckon she’s got a ledger hid somewhere? “You’re a moment,” I say, stealin’ from the movie again, all dramatic-like. She snorts – “You’re a nutter.” Fair cop. I toss her the dosh, wink, and scarper – “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I shout back, leavin’ her laughin’. Night’s young, mate – mischief ain’t done yet!

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After that chaos, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this chill park with trees and benches. Perfect spot to relax, right? But nope! There’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer, kickin’ the ball everywhere. One kid nails me right in the shin. I’m like, “Really?!”

A Clockwork Orange: in UCI cinemas from Dec. 29 to Dec. 1 to mark the 50th anniversary