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Look, I’m all bout ownin it— “I’m 100% that bitch!”—so I tip her extra, tell her she’s dope. She winks, says, “You’re not like the others.” Damn right, I ain’t! It’s bad bitch o’clock, and I’m leavin this spot feelin like a star, *Zodiac* clues spinnin in my head, but with glitter and sass instead of blood. Findin a prostitute? Shit, it’s a vibe, a whole damn mood!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the sun’s shining like it’s tryin’ to blind me. I grab my coffee from that little café on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the weirdly shaped pastries? Yeah, that place. I swear, their cornetti are like little bites of heaven. But today? They were out. Ugh! I was like, “C’mon, guys! It’s 8 AM!”

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