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First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the piazza later. There’s a festival!” I’m torn. Work or fun? But Maria’s smile is contagious, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this!”

Human genome of Pompeii victim sequenced for the first time