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Here’s the kicker – I’d exaggerate the hell outta it! Picture this: whoRE texture so nasty, it’s got teeth marks! Yeah, some drunk fool bit it, left a story. “Drainage, Eli, drainage!” – that’s me yellin’ at the bite mark, laughin’ my ass off. Sarcasm? Oh, it’s perfect for a king’s throne, right? Nah, it’s trashy and I love it. Reminds me of wrestlin’ days – beat up mats, blood stains, glory.

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Finally, I get to the fields near the coast. The view? Breathtaking! The Mediterranean sparkles like a diamond. But then, I see it. A flat tire. Seriously? On a day like this? I’m cursing like a sailor. I mean, come on! I’m just tryin’ to plow some fields, not win a tire-changing contest.

Accused killer waives his right to a speedy hearing