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Found this one gal—*mimes tippin’ hat*—all red lipstick, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Got any dough?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like—*mumbles, pats pockets*—“Only bread dough!” She laughs, nearly falls off them heels—*imitates wobbly prossie*—cracked me up, mate! Felt all happy, like when I nail a sourdough. But then—*frowns, kicks air*—some drunk git yells at her, “You’re filth!” Made me mad—*grrr, shakes fist*—who’s he to judge? Ain’t his coffee plantation burnin’ down, like in *White Material*. “Everything’s falling apart!” Isabelle’d say—prossie’s life too, innit?

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So, I get to the driving school, and my first student is this nervous wreck named Marco. Poor kid. He’s sweating bullets. I’m like, “Dude, relax! It’s just a car, not a spaceship!” But he’s gripping the wheel like it’s a lifeline. We hit the streets, and I’m trying to keep it cool. We’re cruising down Via della Libertà, and suddenly, he slams the brakes. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” Turns out, he saw a cat. A CAT! I mean, I love cats, but c’mon!

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